![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Oct-2017-Humorous-Quotes-dogs-150x150.jpg) |
“I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person” |
-Bill Murray |
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Sept-2017-Humorous-Quotes-bartender-150x150.jpg) |
“I think everyone should to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cab driver. Then they would really be educated. “ |
-Al McGuire |
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Aug-2017-Humorous-Quotes-jury-150x149.jpg) |
“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. “ |
|
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/July-2017-Humorous-Quotes-baby-150x150.png) |
“Make no mistake about why these babies are here- They are here to replace us.” |
-Jerry Seinfield |
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/June-2017-Humorous-Quotes-June-2-150x150.jpg) |
“Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.” |
-Al Bernstein |
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/May-2017-Humorous-Quotes-1-150x150.jpg) |
“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break, |
– Earl Wilson |
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/April-2017-Humorous-Quotes-spring-150x150.jpg) |
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, Let’s party!” |
– Robin Williams |
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/March-2017-Humrous-Quotes.jpg) |
“The older you get the stronger the wind gets – and it’s always in your face.” |
-Pablo Picasso |
![](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Feb-2017-Humours-Quotes-1-150x150.png) |
“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous” |
-Ingrid Bergman |
![jan-2017-humorous-quotes](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Jan-2017-Humorous-Quotes-150x150.jpg) |
“If I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.” |
-Roald Dahl |
![dec-2016-humorous-quotes-shopping](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Dec-2016-Humorous-Quotes-shopping-150x150.jpg) |
“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” |
-Dave Barry |
![nov-humorous-quotes-pumpkin-pie](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Nov-Humorous-Quotes-pumpkin-pie-150x150.jpg) |
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.” |
-Garfield/Jim Davis |
![october-2016-humorous-quotes-tree](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/October-2016-Humorous-Quotes-tree-150x150.jpg) |
“Paper cut: A tree’s final moment of revenge.” |
– Anonymous |
![September 2016 Humorous Quotes](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/September-2016-Humorous-Quotes.jpg) |
“Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat” |
– Ann Landers |
![August 2016 Humorous Quotes couple](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/August-2016-Humorous-Quotes-couple-150x150.jpg) |
“A man says a lot of things in summer he doesn’t mean in winter.” |
-Patricia Briggs |
![July 2016 Humouous Quotes cake](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/July-2016-Humouous-Quotes-cake-150x150.jpg) |
“The United Sates is the only country with a known birthday.” |
-James G. Blaine |
![June 2016 Humorous Quotes - Romance](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/June-2016-Humorous-Quotes-Romance.png) |
“If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.” |
-Bern Williams |
![May 2016 Humorous Quotes family](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/May-2016-Humorous-Quotes-family-150x150.jpg) |
“There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family.” |
-Jerry Seinfeld |
![April 2016 Humorous quote taxes](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/April-2016-Humorous-quote-taxes.jpg) |
“I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.” |
-Michael McShane |
![March 2016 Humorous quote mud pic](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/March-2016-Humorous-quote-mud-pic-150x150.jpg) |
“March is a tomboy with tousled hair, a mischievous smile, mud on her shoes and a laugh in her voice.” |
-Hal Borland |
![February 2016 Humorous Quotes ring](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/February-2016-Humorous-Quotes-ring.jpg) |
“My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan!” |
– Leopold Fechtner |
![January 2016 Humorous Quote Snow Storm](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/January-2016-Humorous-Quote-Snow-Storm-150x150.jpg) |
“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” |
– Carl Reiner |
![December 2015 Humorous Quotes giftwrap](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/December-2015-Humorous-Quotes-giftwrap.jpg) |
“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” |
– Steven Wright |
![November 2015 Humorous Quotes football](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/November-2015-Humorous-Quotes-football-150x150.jpg) |
“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.” |
– Erma Bombeck |
![October 2015 Humorous Quotes candy](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/October-2015-Humorous-Quotes-candy-150x150.jpg) |
“So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you’re a kid your brain can’t even process the information. You’re like: “What is this? What did you say?” “What did you say about giving out candy? Who’s giving out candy?” “Everyone that we know is just giving out candy?” |
– Jerry Seinfeld |
![Sept 2015 - Humorous quotes pencils](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Sept-2015-Humorous-quotes-pencils-150x150.jpg) |
“Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” |
-Nora Ephron |
![August 2015 Humorous Quotes mosquito](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/August-2015-Humorous-Quotes-mosquito-150x150.jpg) |
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” |
-Bette Reese |
![Humorous Quotes - July 2015 Hammock](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Humorous-Quotes-July-2015-Hammock-150x150.jpg) |
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.” |
-James Dent |
![butter knife - ha ha](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/butter-knife-ha-ha.jpg) |
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.” |
-Rodney Dangerfield |
![speech](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/speech.jpg) |
“The difference between a political campaign speech and an appearance is twenty minutes.” |
– Adlai Stevens |
![haha](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/haha.gif) |
“Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.” |
– H.L. Mencken |
![cheese](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/cheese.gif) |
“How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese?” |
– Charles De Gaulle |
![bored](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/bored.gif) |
“It is a tolerable depiction of a bore that he is one who talks about himself when you want to talk about yourself.” |
– Robert Hugh Benson |
![wish](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/wish.gif) |
“If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles.” |
– Benjamin Franklin |
![enthusiasm](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/enthusiasm.gif) |
“You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm” |
– Colette |
![graves](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/graves.gif) |
“The graveyards are full of women whose houses were so spotless you could eat off the floor.” |
– Heloise Cruise |
![bed](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/bed.gif) |
“I rise from bed the first thing in the morning not because I am dissatisfied with it, but because I cannot carry it with me during the day.” |
– Edgar Wilson Nye |
![bald](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/bald.gif) |
“There is one thing about baldness – it’s neat.” |
– Don Herold |
![punctual](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/punctual.gif) |
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” |
– Franklin P. Jones |
![onion](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/onion.gif) |
“It is hard to imagine a civilization without onions.” |
– Julia Child |
![teen](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/teen.gif) |
“Why can’t life’s problems hit us when we’re 17 and know everything?” |
– A.C. Jolly |
![beauty](https://homefrontmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/beauty.gif) |
“I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?” |
– Jean Kerr |