Can You Slow Down Time?

Cynthia Lopinto Feature Article Leave a comment 1,951 Views

By CYN LoPINTO
Editor-in-chief, gerontologist

The concept of time going by faster as we age is a phenomenon we can all relate to. Looking at photo albums of our children young and cuddled up on our laps reminds us just how quickly time is ticking. It doesn’t seem possible that these memories were so long ago. Our childhood school years dragged on forever. Now the months just fly by. When a yearly bill comes in the mail, we stop and ask ourselves, “Didn’t I just pay this?”

An interesting article from Psychology Today, brings up this concept when referencing the book, “Why life goes faster as you get older” by Dutch Psychologist Douwe Draaisma. The theory here is that when we are younger, our lives are filled with many unique and first time experiences. These moments make a lasting impression on our brain and the “newness” of these events causes the appearance of time moving slower. We are over-aware during these occurrences and this investment affects our perception.

A clear example of this is when you start at a new job. In the beginning, the days are long and never ending. You are learning new skills and trying to figure out what is expected of you. There are co-workers you need to get to know and a whole new environment. You are constantly paying attention to things that may come up and time goes by slowly. After a few years at the same job, specific happenings tend to overlap. You are asked to look up a project you think you did last year and find out it was done over three years ago. It isn’t that you are losing your memory, it is just that the meaning of certain things become unimportant.

For those of us who have been married for many years, this really rings a bell. Those first few months of dating and experiencing life as a couple were exciting. You remember what clothes you wore and the places you went. As years add on in your relationship, specific memories get lost. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are taking one another for granted, life just becomes more of a “same thing every day” pattern. If you include an anniversary trip or special romantic evening, then you are more apt to remember that event and time slows down a bit. It doesn’t need to be something expensive or grandeur. Sometimes just the smallest change can make a big difference.

There is a definite element of grief with time passing by. Feelings of loss relating to how things used to be and what you had come into play. Lyrics to Frank Sinatra’s, “It Was a Very Good Year” and Harry Chapin’s, “Cats in the Cradle” are prime examples of these emotions. It is that internal jolt you experience when you come across an old toy your child had as a baby. Maybe you are out shopping and you see an elderly woman who reminds you of your grandmother. You find a picture of yourself as a teenager and see the carefree spirit and miss it. You go back in time during these moments and while the memories can make you happy, you still feel that pain of loss. It is only natural. Like all grief, you have to feel it. It becomes a problem if the past gets glorified so much that you want to stay there.

So the real takeaway here is to not become stale and regimented. Add something new to your daily routine, meet new people and change things up. If you challenge yourself every now and then, you will wake up that part inside of you that needs to start paying attention. It is easy to get in a rut as you age. New opportunities don’t show up like they did when you were in your teens and twenties. You have to go out and find them. Believe me, it will be well worth your time!

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Cynthia Lopinto

Cyn LoPinto, M.A. is a gerontologist focusing on significant issues affecting older adults and their families. Her areas of interest include lifestyle enrichment, family dynamics, and caregiver support. Cyn has worked in both the recreational and healthcare industries.